Movie Review:

‘Catwoman’: This Cat Has Claws

By: Eliot John Hagen (March 23, 2005)

I know that this movie got terrible reviews, but believe me, I’ve seen worse.  Compared to such trash that had no business ever soiling a film reel (such as The Stepford Wives, Anchorman, I Heart Huckabees, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, etc), “Catwoman” isn’t really that bad.

The story revolves around the beautiful Patience Phillips, an artist for the advertising department of a cosmetics company.  One evening, when trying to meet a deadline for her egomaniacal boss (played by the Matrix Merovingian Lambert Wilson), Patience stumbles upon Sharon Stone, a hateful ex-model who is hell-bent on releasing some questionable skin-cream.  When she discovers that this cream will, unless constantly used, destroy your face, she is hunted down and killed.

However, she is revived by an ancient Egyptian Mau, the rarest of all cats.  When she awakes, she has all of the powers of a cat; amazing agility, superb vision and hearing, unbeatable coordination, and that kitty-cat sass.

Sure, it’s a flimsy premise with a deplorable “great evil,” but at least it has Halle Barry, who plays the part fairly well, (although the red lipstick is a bit too much) and a few good fight scenes.  This isn’t the type of movie you see for the script or story.  You see it for Halle Berry and sassy music.  Plus, I love kitty-cats.

From the superhero point of view, Catwoman is an interesting character.  Unlike Spiderman, she gained her powers for freedom and she uses them for her personal gain and pleasure.  Rather than being bound by the whole “hero” thing, Catwoman does what she wants.  She stole a diamond necklace to make her diamond claws, but she also killed the evil Sharon Stone.  She’s an icon for a woman’s power and freedom; beautiful and graceful at first, but, if made angry; ruthless and ferocious.

The film is not as bad as the critics have made out.  It has some okay fight scenes and some reasonable physical comedy.  If you’re looking for a good script and plot, look elsewhere, because you won’t find it here. But you may find more than the critics promised. (Interesting bit of trivia:  Halle Barry played a character named “Sharon Stone” in the 1994 version of “The Flintstones.”)