By Adam Knudsen (February 24, 2005)

This past Saturday, February 19^th, I attended the Gallagher Comedy Experience at The State theatre. Gallagher is considered a dinosaur in the comedy business, becoming famous for smashing watermelons and showering the audience with other food items.

I was unaware of this when I went to his show. The audience started scrambling around when Gallagher started hitting candies into the audience with his tennis racket. The audience was begging to have the honor of being pelted with candy. The candy procession went on for some time and I was beginning to wonder why so many people had turned out just to be hit by candy.

Finally, Gallagher had run out of peeps, marshmallows, Hershey kisses, and all the other varieties of candies he had in his arsenal and began to do his standup routine. I quickly realized that Gallagher was not like other comedians and had a very unique thinking pattern and to be blunt was hilarious. He made fun of the new teen trends, blaming the "show your underwear fashion," on parents not spanking their kids enough and other cultural things that he finds stupid.

He finished his comedy skit with the line, "Well, unfortunately, I did not become famous for my jokes or the way I think so now I will go get the Sledge-O-Matic. The entire crowd became boisterous and I had no idea what to expect next. He then asked for a volunteer and ironically enough he called on my girlfriend who was sitting beside me. He said, "You! You look like you follow today’s trends with your Abercrombie shirt on." She then proceeded to head up to the stage. He asked her age and then asked if she wouldn’t mind trying on one of his latest creations. She accepted and out of nowhere Gallagher whipped out a pair of boxer briefs, cut a few slits in the pants legs then threw it on over her as a bra, asking if it had support.

The crowd was clapping, eager to get to the smashing. Next Gallagher asked my girlfriend to slice apples for him and asked if she had a boyfriend in the crowd. I then was called up, underwent the great Gallagher making fun of me, and then finally was asked to open cans for him. While opening cans I couldn’t help but wonder what was coming up next, as I opened crème of corn, sauerkraut, corn beef hash, Spaghetti-O’s, and other foreign food cans. He then randomly chose a few candidates to come up on stage and my girlfriend and I returned to our seats, which by the way were third from the front. Gallagher then asked the candidates to pick out the foods they hate the most and place them in a pie tin. The first kid chose mustard, mayonnaise, crème of corn, honey, and spaghetti-O’s. Then Gallagher showed the 17-year-old kid the proper way to swing the Sledge-O-Matic, straight back over your head. Just before the kid swung, I noticed that everyone had brought trash bags and ponchos and were rushing to put them on as if a gas raid had hit the audience and people were rushing for gas masks. My girlfriend and I had come slightly dressed up to this comedy and we looked at each other knowing what was about to happen. The kid wailed on the pie tin and the audience was splattered in every color imaginable. The crowd again roared with excitement and I had never seen so many people begging for more and more they got.

My girlfriend and I decided that we were going to move to the back and the entire audience roared as if two people waiting to be executed were escaping. They were screaming derogatory statements and shouting, "Sissies!" I found it ironic that the people shouting mainly came from the very back seats, but I didn’t pay much attention to their shouting as I was still picking mustard out of my hair.

Once satisfied with the audience being completely drenched in food groups and the roof dripping with crème of corn and spaghetti-O’s, Gallagher decided it was time for his next routine. He asked the audience whether or not anyone had a birthday coming up or past recently and to come on up to the stage. He had the people that came up circle around the wooden platform that was used as the anvil when he smashed the foods. He then poured Hershey’s chocolate syrup all over the cake and proceeded with smashing the cake with the almighty Sledge-O-Matic.

The goal for the people up on stage was to get the best "cake face." Upon getting the best cake face, which basically meant the person who was covered the best, the crowd would then cheer for this person. The people on stage that were cheered for seemed like this was their christening moment into stardom, acting like celebrities up on stage and completely proud of themselves. After the cake face, it was Gallagher’s turn up at bat and he brought up some of his ideas to the table. He first wanted to use strawberry syrup because one of his jokes was that he wanted to become governor in California and he’d run on the platform of convincing America to sing the National Anthem in Spanish, in order to get elected. Anyway, Gallagher set up his pie tin like an artist would his easel and then began singing the National Anthem. When he got to the line "And the rockets," he smashed the strawberry syrup concoction and finished the line "red glare." The syrup spewed across the audience almost reaching the back of the room. The crowd wanted more. Gallagher next pulled out a head of lettuce and began filling the leaves with flour. Comparing it to lacing marijuana leaves with cocaine which the crowd informed him was called a "Wubob." Once ready, he raised the Sledge-O-Matic over his head and smacked the head of lettuce and the crowd was in awe. The hit had been perfect I presume because it caused a mushroom cloud of flour which was quite a spectacle to see. The night ended with Gallagher doing his most famous smashing of the watermelon. Supposedly that is what he started it with so now he was finishing with it. After smashing the watermelon with one hit into oblivion the entire crowd stood up clapping and screaming. Gallagher remained bowing on stage.

For two tickets costing just $41 I felt I had gotten much more than my money’s worth. Gallagher has been around since the 80’s as most parents have even heard of him and yet in his old age he still can make an audience stand on its feet in awe of the comedian’s excitement and appreciation. Leaving the concert was much different than leaving a movie theatre. After most movies everyone is quiet, whereas after leaving the State Theatre almost everyway you listened some person was talking about something Gallagher said or did. I recommend highly to anyone looking to laugh or just have an overall good time to go out and see Gallagher, you won’t think the same ever again.