By: Eliot John Hagen (November 17, 2004)

This game is the BIGGEST game I have EVER played. For those of you who know the GTA franchise, San Andreas is SIX TIMES AS BIG AS VICE CITY. Yeah. Take a breath and steady yourself.

There are urban sprawls, redneck towns, flowing fields, farmers’ crops, towering mountains, barren deserts, and white beaches. With a nigh-infinite number of ways to customize CJ, the main character, this game is for YOU. YOUR taste dictates how CJ walks, talks, looks, eats, does business, and everything else. I like to keep my CJ slim with high stamina, while keeping him proficient with Silenced 9mm’s and SMG’s. Others might prefer to send him to the gym to pump some iron, at the cost of some stamina. Some might want to stuff him with junk food; have him put on a few pounds. (Just don’t get him too fat, or he’ll run the risk of getting a heart attack.) As to the way your CJ dresses, there are numerous stores where you can deck him out with sports clothing, gang colors, or swanky suits and gold chains. If you don’t like his simple Ceasar haircut, go to any barbershop to trim him to your taste. Oh, and if you want to show your true faith for your Grove Street family, get to the tattoo parlor and mark yourself for life.

There are three main cities in San Andreas, each representing a real-life city. Los Santos is a lot like LA, with things ranging from gang-controlled ‘hoods to high live in Vinewood and the walk of fame. San Fierro, with its rolling hills and streetcars, is just like San Fran; bay and all. Finally, there’s Las Venturas; a livin’ Las Vegas with Casinos, Strip Clubs, Hotels, and so much more.

To travel between these three cities, you have to cross all sorts of terrain. The ‘mid-areas consist of mountains, hills, deserts, farms, and little towns. You can go cross-country or just merge onto the highway.

In the way of improvements since Vice City, San Andreas delivers everything you could ever want. You can swim (something GTA players have been wanting since GTA 3), fly anything from Dodos and 727’s to Combat Helicopters, ride bicycles (a good way to get around and work on your stamina), and you can even sky-dive.

The main story line is GREAT. Rockstar Games is quite liberal with swearing, so don’t play it in front of little kids or your parents. The swearing does, however, add something to the story line (a very good one at that).

In addition to the main story line, there are almost innumerable odd jobs you can do around San Andreas. There are, of course, the basic ones such as Taxi Driver, Paramedic, Firefighter, and Vigilante, but now you can go on Burglar Missions and tons of other stuff.

Looking for love? Look no further than San Andreas, ‘cause you’ll find a couple of eligible women to be your girlfriend. Buy your girlfriend flowers and chocolates, and keep your sex appeal high to make progress. Take her dancing, or to a bar, or any number of other things.

Do you have rhythm? Good, because there are a bunch of rhythm-associated activities to do in San Andreas. You can grab a lowrider and work your hydraulics to a beat, or go to a nightclub and start dancing.

Need I say more?