 |
|
|
|
|
|
Cicada
Mania
Staffers
Recount Their Cicada Encounters
(May 27, 2004) Lasso staff members share their cicada experiences. The cicadas have taken over the metropolitan area in the past two weeks, causing some to shriek in delight, and others to shriek in terror. The cicadas, emerging every 17 years to mate, are expected to stay with us for another two weeks. Matt Meyer Cicadamania has
swept the Metropolitan area; leaving residents aggravated, and sleepless
with messy windshields. They’re everywhere: on screen doors, in trees,
placed on terrified young girls, and out of control. Luckily the reign
of the cicadas will most likely be over this time next week. So enjoy em’
while you can and expect them again in your thirties.
Omar Tanamly Shrieking kamikaze
pilots jettisoned by sheer instinct to plummet from the treetops onto the
bodies of frightened adolescents.The
grin while they emit their piercing howl.It’s
almost as if they enjoy themselves.
Rabita Aziz For the past
week or so, I’ve been dreading to walk home from my bus stop.So
much so that last Monday, I took the long way home, taking an extra 12
minutes to reach my safe haven, which is, by the
way, surrounded by them.It
seems that these brazen beings have decided to make Winterhill and the
surrounding area their own little open house, partying throughout the night,
keeping the neighbors awake, shamelessly getting it on anywhere and everywhere,
blindly bumbling around and bumping into things, drunk with desire.Prom
night?Well, yes, but I’m talking
about the cicadas.Those creepy creatures
have put me and many fellow students in a state of perpetual paranoia,
causing us to shriek and run like little
girls, which I don’t usually do.I
now try to avoid walking under trees, scared that a consummating couple
will fall on me, causing me to run hysterically into the street and get
hit by a car, possibly being driven by someone who’s also being attacked
by a cicada at that very moment.I
mean, did you hear about that woman who caused a flood in her street, and
structural damage to it, because of a cicada?Maybe
it’s good that I don’t drive, because I would probably cause more than
a flood if I were attacked by a cicada.Lucky
for me, I got a ride home today, by a friend who was scared to get into
her car because there was a cicada in it.A
valiant knight in shining armor, Chad O’Hara of course, defeated that vile
creature for her however, and we were safely able to get home.Now
I have to worry about how to get home every day after school.
Stephen
Twentyman THE
WHIMSICAL TRAGEDY OF ROBERT TITTERER Young
Robert Titterer cursed the world for what seemed like the sixtieth time
that day, his well-meaning and polite advances once again rejected and
his moral good sense once more dashed out upon the boughs under which he
stood.Three days! three
days had he struggled and flirted, trying to make himself appealing to
any kindly lass who would cross his path. "How
do you do, sweet lady?" he would chirp with a polite bow as one of the
gentle sex flittered by.But she,
too, would pass, overcome by the lecherous, insincere come-ons of some
unscrupulous ogler. Time after
time, his morals and good nature were mocked by some disgusting brute'splatitudes:
"Hey there, pretty lady, I lost my number.Can
I have yours?"At this she would
feign a blush, but hold out her hand nonetheless, and the pair would retreat
to the undergrowth with diverse naughty chuckles. Lost
in this reverie, Robert was almost oblivious to the comely maiden who now
entered his sight.His heart leapt
to see such a prime example of soft feminine beauty!He
gave a genteel bow, put forth his noble proposition,
and how she responded!The miss gave
a demure blush and extended her hand to him.At
last!One with whom our Mr. Titterer
could live out his remaining hours in bliss and happiness! At that moment, he felt himself borne up, leered at by a gigantic awful eye, and presently he was tossed down someone's back.An ear-splitting shriek followed, and he felt himself shaken about in the confusion, tossed down on the pavement by his lover's side, and the impact of an enormous shoe falling down upon his prone, dazed body.His exoskeleton was crushed, and Mr. Robert Titterer felt no more. Camille
Christophel Cigales,
Cigales Pourquoi
etes vous ici, je ne vous aime pas.
Partez
s’il vous plait, ne restez pas sur mon chemin.
Allez
dans d’autres etats, mais pas le mien.
Pourquoi
venez vous l’annee ou je suis la
Je
suis en colere, vraiment en colere
Cigales… Allison May I do not like cicadas.Cicadas smell and they make really loud noises.When I wake up in the morning that is the only thing I hear and it drives me crazy sometimes.I also don’t like them landing on myself.If they just fly around and mind their own business and not land random things- like me- then I think I and everybody else would be fine.
|
