Commentary by a Young Mother ‘Learn from Me, Don’t Have Sex’ By Diana Amaya (April 26, 2003)

On November 15, 2002, my whole life changed. I became a teenage mother. I gave birth to Isaiah Eli Amaya. At age 16 I decided to keep my baby, not knowing the responsibilities of a mother.

Before I got pregnant I had a lot of goals that I wanted to accomplish, but through time I had to think about them twice and see what was best for my baby and me. It may be just a few months since my baby was born, but now I know the hard work that babies are.

Having babies is not something that I want anymore until I have succeeded in life and also have a stable life. I know that my life is harder, but I don’t regret keeping my baby but I do regret having my baby so young. The only advice that I have for teenagers is just to wait to have sex. You don’t need sex because there are so many consequences that you may not be ready to face.

When I first found out that I was pregnant I panicked. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know how to tell my parents. It took me a while to decide what I was going to do with my unborn child. I finally came up with the decision to keep my baby. At the time I wasn’t thinking about the responsibilities of a mother, but only about how wrong it would be for me to abort my unborn child.

Before I was pregnant and when I was pregnant I had goals I wanted to accomplish and things I wanted to do for myself. I wanted to go to college or into the navy. I also wanted to travel. I planned on having lots of fun because I was going to be 18 and out of high school. As time came for my baby to be born, I thought about what would be best for both of us.

Being pregnant so young was hard, but being a teenage mother is even harder. Now that my son is here things are a lot harder for me. I have to think about homework and about taking care of Isaiah at the same time and he takes almost all of my time. I think that if you are young and having sex and do not want the responsibilities of taking care of a child, do not have sex. Your whole life changes and you can’t be doing those fun things that you were doing before.

My due date was November 4, but on the fifteenth they induced labor and I gave birth to Isaiah Eli Amaya. From the moment he was born my whole life changed at only age 17. It finally hit, what I had done. Now this child depends on me and I can’t turn my back on him. From that day on he became my responsibility.

As the weeks have gone by, I realize how hard it is being a parent, especially for a teenager because I myself am still growing. It is my responsibility to take care of my son and nobody else’s. I wasn’t prepared to wake up at night and change his diapers or what to do when they start crying. Those are not the kinds of things that teenagers should have to think about, so don’t have sex. I realize that I wasn’t ready to be a mom, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I chose to keep my baby and take care of him and that’s what I’m doing, but I’m still learning. 

Even though I’m a teenage mother and there are many moments that are hard, I do not regret keeping my baby. I feel that he is the best thing to happen to me, but I do regret having him so young. And I also regret bringing him to a home that is not a complete home since his father and I are not together. I feel selfish that I brought my son home not to a family and that hurts me because he doesn’t deserve that. When you are young you think differently and you aren’t thinking about the decisions that are going to affect you later on.

Now I know that having babies is not something I want. I want to finish high school and continue school after that. I want to be successful in life and not depend on someone else. Kids are big responsibilities and one kid is enough for me and more kids would be too much for me. 

For every one of you out there who is young, take my advice: don’t have sex, you don’t need it. Look at me. I’m a mother, but I didn’t plan to become a mother but it happened and I can’t take it back. I love my child but being a mother is making me grow up too fast and I have to think about things that teenagers don’t usually have to think about. Think about what you are doing because you don’t want to think about a child so young in your life. Besides pregnancy, there are also many diseases out there so to prevent that from happening to you make the right choice.

I’m now 17 and a mother who could have done other things with my life if I had not had a child. But I chose to have my son. While I’m not proud of some of my choices I am proud that I chose to have my son and I wouldn’t take back that choice because he has been the best thing in my life. I love my son. Now I’m a mother and even though it feels weird, I think things will get better and, yes, I have learned my lesson. 

Having sex at this time in our lives is not a good thing because we are just babies ourselves and we are still learning ourselves. If you do not want to take on the responsibility of having a child and feel you can’t take it, just don’t have sex. Learn from me and don’t make the same mistake.