Film Review
Everyone’s Zero?

By Ted Peetz (October 4, 2006)

First off, I’d like to say that yes, I did actually pay to see a G-rated movie, but I would also like to make clear it was because I had to take my 12-year-old neighbor and I was fully reimbursed. Nonetheless, “Everyone’s Hero” did not exceed my expectations in the least. The animated movie, released September 15, is yet another predictable child’s story of how an average loser can become history’s most beloved hero. 

The story follows a young boy named Yankee Irwing from New York, a baseball fanatic who especially looks up to Babe Ruth.  Despite his love of the game, however, he is an awful, awful baseball player and destroys his own chances of ever being a team star.  As the ridiculous plot continues, Irwing soon finds himself in the middle of a crisis. On a visit to his dad while working at Yankee Stadium as a custodian, he comes across Babe Ruth’s famous bat, Darling, (with the voice of Whoopi Goldberg) in the team locker room. The following day, the bat goes missing and Irwing’s father is fired for having been the only one present at the scene of the crime. Thus, recalling seeing Chicago Cubs pitcher and Yankee opponent, Left Maginni in the locker room that night, Irwing, with the help of his sidekick, Screwy, becomes determined to pursue Maginni and rescue the beloved Darling.

From here, one can probably predict the course of events that follow as Irwing proudly becomes the hero, in fact “everyone’s hero.” Lacking originality, the film is far less inspirational than the title suggests.  A nonsensical and predictable plot should even deter a younger audience. If only the ticket lady had only listened to my little neighbor when he requested two tickets for “Jackass 2.”