What do you get when you play a country song backwards? Answer: You get your house back, you get your woman back, and you get your life back.

I'm sick of this joke.

It seems every time I admit my love for country music, my confidante feels the need to supply a joke or comment on the redness of my neck.

When are people going to really listen before they criticize? Sure, there are some (okay, a lot) of country "somebody done someone wrong" songs, but that's because above all, country music is about real life. Even as a sixteen-year-old, I can relate to enough country tunes that I find myself shaking my head, while thoughts like "isn’t that the truth" drift across it.

That's not to say all country music is heartfelt. Consider, if you will, Trace Adkins number one hit "Honkytonk Badonkadonk." Not only did the music video feature scantily clad women and men dancing at a club to a remix of said song, the lyrics are largely similar to the Black Eyed Peas' top 40 hit, "My Humps" (which was popular about the same time.) "Drivin' everybody crazy/ you think you fell in love/ Boy, you better keep your distance/ You can look but don't you touch!" are Adkins's lyrics, as compared to "you can look but you can't touch 'cause if you touch I'm gonna / start some drama / you don't want no drama." Ironic, right?

Country today upholds a standard that a lot of popular music has lost over the years. Almost every artist on the country charts is a triple threat: singer, songwriter, and gorgeous. Most play an instrument, many write songs for other artists as well as themselves. Good melodies don't come at the price of bad lyrics.

I've devised an easy, nine-step process for those skeptical of country music's merit. I’ve provided song selections for each artist, one “for tears” (sad songs) and one “for cheers” (upbeat songs).

STEP ONE: Keith Urban -- he's from Australia, so you avoid the twang. He writes his own music, which consists mostly of sappy love songs. Plus, he's married to Nicole Kidman. FOR TEARS: “Tonight I Wanna Cry” / FOR CHEERS: “Days Go By”

STEP TWO: Rascal Flatts -- lead singer Gary Levox has one of the most beautiful voices in the music industry today. This band is sometimes criticized for being too "pop." Ballads are their strong point, but don't discount their faster paced ditties. FOR TEARS: “Skin (Sara Beth)” / FOR CHEERS: “Fast Cars and Freedom”

STEP THREE: Faith Hill and Tim McGraw -- this power couple's solo songs are second only to when they duet. They have produced some powerful love songs. FOR TEARS: “Like We Never Loved At All” / FOR CHEERS: “Let's Make Love”

STEP FOUR: Big and Rich -- infamous for the song "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." They've added a spice to country music that's part comedic and all about pushing the genre to its limit. Example: they introduced Cowboy Troy, a "big black rappin' cowboy." FOR TEARS: “Holy Water” / FOR CHEERS: “Comin' to your City”

STEP FIVE: Gretchen Wilson -- self-proclaimed "eight ball shootin', double fisted, whiskey-drinkin' son of a gun." This girl will rock the country right into you. FOR TEARS: “When I Think About Cheatin'” / FOR CHEERS: “Redneck Woman”

STEP SIX: Brad Paisley -- a good ol' West Virginia boy whose songs are hugely varied, and all good. He's known for his humorous parodies and ridiculous guitar solos. FOR TEARS: “When I Get Where I'm Goin'” / FOR CHEERS: “Alcohol”

STEP SEVEN: Martina McBride -- easily one of the best vocalists in the world. She's never afraid to tackle a tricky subject, such as domestic abuse. FOR TEARS: “Concrete Angel” / FOR CHEERS: “Independence Day”

STEP EIGHT: Kenny Chesney -- a nasally, built, down-home country boy who enjoys lounging in the palm trees. Excellent beach music. FOR TEARS: “Mary” / FOR CHEERS: “She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy”

STEP NINE: Toby Keith -- the epitome of country music, from cheatin' songs to patriotic power ballads. FOR TEARS: “Who's That Man” / FOR CHEERS: “Get Drunk and Be Somebody”

BONUS STEP: George Strait -- if you can stand him, good, because most of the time his twang is just too much for me.

NOTE: I did not include Garth Brooks because there is no excuse for not listening to Garth Brooks. He's country, and he's rock'n'roll. He's Donnie, and he's Marie.