Editorial, Part II
Explain Yourselves, O Shadowy Forces

Dear Readers,

Okay. You called our bluff. Lasso Online will not, in fact, perish in a paroxysm of sugar deprivation, as we earlier implied we might in our editorial about the sudden, inexplicable switch to a 3 o’clock activation time for school vending machines. There were some dreary moments, certainly, but that was before Mr. Hoover funded a giant vat of generic cheeseball puffs to provide us Lasso staffers with enough trans-fatty acids to get through the day.

But don’t think that Lasso Online writers and editors and photographers have given up our quest of restoring the eminently humane 2:00 activation time. No, we might sit here with hints of cheesy dust still encircling our mouths, but we are not content. Far from it. The total lack of response from the administration in the face of our desperate plea worries us. For, if the shadowy forces that determine things like when you should be allowed to retrieve a can of diet coke do not feel the need to explain their rationale for terminating our access to sugar and fat, (or, in the case of diet coke, aspartame or something) the question arises: Will they feel the need to explain other, perhaps even more earth-shattering decisions they happen to make?

What if your hitherto trusted school officials decide that the color green is icky and thus must not be worn by GM students? Or that, because of the congestion that causes standstills in certain hallways, the only mode of transportation between one classroom to another shall hereby be skipping? The arbitrariness could reach unheard-of levels. And so, we reporters evoke the name of every single student whoever skimmed a Lasso Online article (we can do that, right?) and demand of you, O shadowy forces: explain yourselves, please.