Before we get out of this prison of learning, I have just one more thing to rant about for this school year. Over the months, I have written many angry, hypocritical, whiny, pointless and hilarious commentaries (rants) that have infuriated the masses and given hope to many others. While it was very fun to write these articles, some people felt that it was crazy for me to voice opinions without using facts or logic. I'll admit, it is foolish to think that anyone in America can write their opinions however crazy they might be, but yelling at me for doing so was only half the problem. Many people took these rants of mine seriously and thought that I was completely ignorant and evil, which simply isn't true. If you'll allow me to go over the many nasty replies I have received, I'm sure we can find some understanding.
       
I think that there is some confusion over my article about reading. The article itself is completely ridiculous. Is it possible for
someone to actually advocate not reading? Just read the article, it defeats itself. I only talked about one book which is beyond my comprehension in itself. The reply stated that we shouldn't pay for something that our mind can produce for free. The only problem is that you need a good imagination to do that and reading books can only help so much if you don't have a good imagination to begin with. We watch TV and movies so we don't have to think. The idea that art can change the world more than a dictator with nuclear weapons is far too idealistic, because I've never heard of the entire human race being
wiped out by a book or a painting, unless the said book or painting was full of some chemical weapon that infected you when you looked at it. This belief seems to be following along with the ideas of world peace or a free Tibet, when it is more accurate to see things as they are and deal with it accordingly instead of dancing in a field to some hippy drum circle. I'm glad we could clear that up. Let's move on.

The commentary about poetry was more of the same; ridiculous ranting without many facts or logical reasoning. People assumed that just because I said that people who like poetry are lonely cowards who sit in their rooms and cry because they have no friends, I actually MEANT it. I know that not all poets are emotional losers and I also know that many of them work very hard at what they do, even though I hate the type of work that they chose. I was just making a simple stereotype that people make all the time. In fact, people should have been more offended by my article suggesting that women were liars for
saying that they cared about funny men when I found the exact opposite to be true (in various other cases). That article was much more ridiculous and made a larger stereotype against more than half of the school, but nobody seemed to care about it, either because they hadn't read it or they found it to be a rare accurate stereotype, whichever one works.

The article about how great the Ramones were was one of my more accurate rants, seeing as how the Ramones are the first and best punk band to ever exist. However, to suggest that I didn't know that they had roots in other types of music was ridiculous. I know they had roots in other music, specifically Beach rock. That should be assumed by the reader, but many seem to miss this fact. Music has roots in monkeys banging rocks on other rocks, but we don't reference that in
everything because we assume that a person already knows that and it doesn't need to be explained. The Ramones simply popped out of nowhere because there was nothing like them at the time. Duh.

Calling me ignorant, insulting and so on may be true, but it still hurts the small amount of feelings I have left. However, I cannot stop your slanderous and hysterical barbs just as you cannot stop me from writing rants that make little sense and use even fewer facts. There's a little thing in our Constitution called the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of religion, expression, press and some other ones that I can't remember right now. It might be crazy, but it's my right as an American to write what I want no matter how stupid or ridiculous. That's why the ACLU has to defend members of the KKK, even
though they're racists. Although we do not agree with other people's opinions, we must protect their right to express them.
Similarly, my right to rant is protected, and since I do not personally attack you when you participate in something you enjoy
(attacking a group of people doesn't count as a personal attack), you should do the same and not respond when I say something that does not agree with your opinions. Turn the other cheek and quit complaining.

With the many rants I wrote during the school year, one person suggested that the commentary section was my personal journal. I wish. Because I did not write every single commentary, it can't be my personal section to sound off on. End of discussion. I simply contribute the most and have the most popular articles (or at least the most read).

The bottom line is that you (the readers who know I'm going to write something completely stupid and reads it anyway just so you can pretend to be outraged) are overreacting. I have no power unless you give it to me. I am nothing but a dumb, egotistical monster that quotes animated TV shows way too often and has managed to turn Lasso Online from an average school paper into a hotbed of controversy. Now that I'm done humoring my detractors, I can start humoring myself. I simply
write what I want. Is it offensive? Usually. Ridiculous? Always. Hilarious? Depends on your point-of-view. The main point is to not take anything I ever write seriously, because then you will suffer from the sheer stupidity of the articles. They may not be jokes, but assume that the articles are not completely serious and quit wasting the school's resources by writing replies. An article I write may be hypocritical or go against something I said earlier, but you have to remember that everyone is a hypocrite at some point in their lives. Thomas Jefferson, a man who was firmly opposed to slavery, is widely believed to have had sex with an underage slave. Rush Limbaugh, who claims to despise drug users, was caught having an addiction to
prescription pain killers. There are thousands of other examples, but we have to remember that perfection is impossible and that everyone does something wrong at some point in their lives. The fact that I am taken seriously even though there is no reason to do so is sad. Instead, the readers should be wondering why I'm not writing anything other than commentaries about meaningless subjects. If you are the type of person who has nothing better to do than write back negatively to my rants, then do something I have never done and get a job. If you already have a job, get a better job so you don't have time to just
sit at your computer and get infuriated over something that is probably not important. Since it's almost the end of the school year, don't bother writing back to this. Just accept it and move on.