Throughout history, parents have told their children to not focus on outer beauty, but to see what kind of emotions and character a person has. This supposedly is to insure a lifelong commitment that would result in a lifetime of happiness. Naturally, a majority of human beings have rejected this notion and have gone for the prettiest thing that walks past them. While men are brutally honest about this and admit that looks are the first thing they notice in someone else, women still use the line that has given false hope to millions of guys and is an outright lie that many still refuse to admit: "I don't care if someone's rich or pretty, but they have to make me laugh."

Lies! The above line has probably been said for thousands of years, and yet it is as empty today as it was then. This statement is an obvious fib that should be eliminated. If women truly cared about comedy, comedians would be mobbed by women on the street, regardless of whether they were famous. Take Dave Chappelle, for instance. He has been billed as the next Richard Prior (who was also hilarious), and is one of the edgiest
comedians out there. But let's be honest, he isn't too great to look at. He's rat-faced and lanky, and has very goofy teeth. He also has a two-season, $53 million deal with Comedy Central for "Chappelle's Show", which has made him a household name. However, when he was doing shows in D.C., growing up, there were no reports of "Hilarious Man
Stampeded by Love-Crazed Women." Why not? Because he wasn't rich, famous or handsome. If the ability to make someone laugh is what women care about, then surely they would have been clamoring to get a piece of him. But alas, that belief is a massive lie, along with the 1950's ideas about smoking and the government's story about the Kennedy assassination.

But why does this falsity even exist? Why is the female race so obsessed with the idea of saying that only comedy or a sense of humor matters? The general consensus is that women spread the lie in order to make men feel like they have accomplished more than they actually have. After all, with suicide rates at their current levels, why make men more depressed by telling them that their amusing antics mean nothing to women and that
they are poor and ugly? While women say this lie with the best intentions (hopefully), it has now come to the point where men, as slow-witted as we are, have wised up and realize that this particular line is empty.

Through thousands of years of noticing our hilarious antics become useless in the art of attracting members of the opposite sex, it has slowly dawned on us that those words are without meaning. So to all the women who have used that line, I say; thanks for humoring us, but there's no need to anymore.